On maturity – I am an adult now
I turned 35 on Tuesday. Amazing. How did that happen so fast? I am officially a proper adult now.
Although truthfully I am not really getting the I am a grown-up vibe. Does it come with children? Is it the smart suit or a work uniform attending a regular job that distinguishes grown-ups? I know my parents were proper grown-ups at my age. I was already seven by the time they were the age I am today. Having escaped communist Poland in 1981 they were busy to provide for a comfortable family life and my great childhood. Dad, the biologist who would become a dentist, mum, the paediatrician who has been dedicating her life to people in need – ever since she graduated medical school – she amazingly is still working today.
I – in contrast – am currently unemployed, I do not receive a pension and for all I know, I could get by wearing my pyjamas all day.
This is my gorgeous mum. The most beautiful manifestation of womanhood. The way I am admiringly standing next to her during Christmas in 1984 – I am still that girl. Just bigger.
Adulthood comes with with taking responsible decisions, maybe. But I do. Like, I do not jot down ‘candy‘ on every grocery list, I can restrain myself from the sweets-shelf at checkout and pink is not my favourite colour for wallpaper (just for laptops and other stuff).
Yep, contrary to common belief, I do have a lot of adult-experience. After school, I graduated from University (in Manchester – blogging is indeed a sad testament to my English), I married Tomek, I paid off my mortgage, I bought and sold a flat, I committed to a full time job as a speech&language therapist (before taking on the nomadic-life-experiment) and I am legally allowed to vote (scary, huh?).
So tonight I am having a party to celebrate adulthood (solely by age). My birthday invitation looked like this.
At least, I have outgrown adolescence.
Things did change over time and I have actually made a record of what I do and don’t do any more. Taking a resumé of oneself is a pretty grown-up thing to do. Just reflecting about own actions requires grown-up attitudes.
Let’s recap and see if I have matured.
What I DON’T DO:
I don’t eat at fast food chains.
I don’t drink the hazardous concoctions that are fizzy drinks.
I also don’t drink much alcohol. (That is a big thing – it might actually declassify me as an adult in Poland.)
I do not believe in vitamin supplements.
I don’t bite my nails (so much any more).
I don’t get fake nails.
I don’t wear stiletto masochistic high heel shoes.
I don’t listen to teenage pop-music (voluntarily).
I don’t believe in fortune telling – be it tea-leaf or palm reading, tarot cards, healing with angels, crystals or oracles. (Needles to say, I am totally respectful of people who do).
I particularly don’t believe TV advertisements.
I am not obsessing about other’s ages, wages and careers.
I don’t have the urge to change people, attitudes, agendas, believes that differ from mine.
I don’t feel like I have to see everything, do everything while traveling.
I don’t do compulsive shopping. (I think. But let me just check my wardrobe.)
During our travels I often thought that achieving adulthood is not that complicated. A simple act of maturity is (for me) not to sunbath drunk, definitely avoid getting cornrows and most of all not to visit monkey, dolphin, elephant shows in Asia (or animal circus in Europe).
What I DO:
I treasure my relationship to Tomek (best thing that happened to me).
I am getting the bigger picture of our world. (BTW, ‘Home’ is a fantastic documentary with magnificent views of Earth focusing on the effects of humanity.)
I know that (my) actions have consequences.
I appreciate life more than ever.
I dress regarding my personal preferences of very girlie-feminine fashion with a distinct affection for the past and skirts.
(Or so I think. It may be just strange to you.)
There is more:
I get a fake tan rather than sun bathing.
I condition my hair and floss my teeth (aiming for a daddy’s-little-girl moment).
I have also grown to appreciate comfort (like en-suite hotel rooms).
I eat my vegetables.
I try to eat organic, I am not eating meat (but seafood).
I like to eat out at good restaurants.
I happily reward good service.
I try to get things done and turn ideas into reality (truthfully – this is work in progress).
I value old and antique things.
I sing aloud (sometimes).
I (still) do worry about others’ opinions.
I blog about things I find interesting aiming to benefit my readers but tragically failing in relevance to human kind.
I am looking over the rim of my cup of tea and expanding my horizon. Best example: I am becoming more open to other art forms than (awesome, love it, best ever) Art Nouveau, Art Deco, the Pre-Raphaelites and the Symbolists.
I am more relaxed, laid back. Things don’t shock me easily.
I take time to take in short-lived moments, reminding myself of the cheesy phrase that “one day I might look back and realise those were the big things in life”.
I am trying to be a better person.
I am open-minded but remain sceptical.
I am. Done. With the list. For today.
Now, let me be the kid that loves to show off presents.
The delicious psychedelic cake presented to me by Tomek’s parents.
With blueberry cream filling.
Flowers – in Poland happily, overly adorned, with ribbons, glitter spray, loads of green garnish and kitsch. Once you strip them down, the beauty emerges.
35 red roses. Bare, because hubby knows how to please.
We went out for a family birthday-dinner to the best fish restaurant in town. It was fun but I enjoyed my meal with mixed feelings, thinking about the tremendous environmental effects of overfishing and brutal handling of sea animals. Then I noticed that ‘Chief’ (that’s the renowned restaurant in Szczecin) had tiny aquariums with big fish and one shoe-box-size aquarium with a lonely not happy looking turtle. A sad sight of obvious animal abuse.
I am struggling with the seafood issue and may well be gradually turning away from the last animals I consume.
I am growing to be a vegetarian.
Adulthood doesn’t come easy. But I am working on it and maybe just discreetly growing into it.